“Don’t worry about what the world needs,

“Don’t worry about what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and do that.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  Howard Thurman


If you are on Pacific Time, Debbie Ford is on Oprah’s OWN tv channel

Debbie Ford is on today at 11 a.m (and was on earlier at 8 a.m. but I missed it) on Super Soul Sunday on Oprah’s tv channel, OWN.  Ford’s movie “The Shadow Effect” will play after an interview.  I have not seen the movie but did read Ford’s book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, years ago.  She talks about the shadow side of our personality, etc. but was very good from what I remember.  Should be interesting.

crocheting projects

I must say that I don’t have nearly the amount of crocheting projects as I do for knitting.  My daughter likes crocheting better than knitting so I should probably find some cool, fun projects for her too.  I’m going to keep adding to my list of projects:

Juanita Top

Blossom Kimono

Beachcomber Tunic

Summer Petals Cardigan

Rosemary Sweater

Beach Cover-up/Cardigan

Moss Fern Wrap

Spice Market Tunic

Moorish Mosaic Afghan

Leaf Pepper Hat-the red teen earflap hat

Pink Lady Scarf

Orchard Mitts

Crocheted Swirling Bag

Blue Ridge Cardigan

Bluebell Cardigan

Petal Pullover

Cupcake Sweater

Chamomile Cardigan

***I did make:

Meagan Wants You hat for my daughter-it came out really cute

whiplash and carpal tunnel helped by orthopedic massage?

Almost three years ago in March 2009, I hit my head. (It was when the swine flu was going around, remember that, and first my daughter got it, then my son, followed by me and then my husband, resulting in sickness and delirium from being awake too many nights in a row.)  So it’s been almost three years of headaches on and off, pulling, tightness and weird pain in my neck and shoulder.  I saw many many professionals about this:  I did not see a specialist MD but I did mention it to my doctor on a few occasions, I saw a couple different types of chiropractors, massage therapists, an osteopathic doctor,  acupuncturist, energy workers, physical therapists, and there could be more I’m forgetting.  I’ve gone back and forth between “try again, someone can help me” and “it’s all hopeless noone can help me, maybe this is just as good as it will get.”  I was tired of new patient forms and paying all this money for things that were not helping me.  Don’t get me wrong I usually found slight relief for a couple days and I think I met some wonderful and skilled people just not for this problem.

I ended up getting an orthopedic massage from a man I knew years ago but had never had a massage from, but I remembered people saying he was very good.  He is a kind man and a strong man and when he worked those muscles on my neck and shoulders, tears involuntarily flowed and I tried to remember to breathe but it hurt like #$#@.

It has now been three weeks and even though I still have the tenderness in my neck and shoulder, it has had a layer of pain peeled off of it.  I actually hadn’t thought about it for the three weeks until this morning.  So many be another session or two.  While I was there, I asked him also about my wrist.  Three years ago right before I hit my head, I was walking outside and in a split second I knew I was going to slip on ice and I let go of the dog leash and  landed with all of my weight on my right palm, you know if you trace your pinky finger down to the bone at the bottom of your hand before your wrist. I landed with all on my weight on that bone.  (I think I just found out last week it’s called the pisiform bone, but that could be wrong.)  Anyway, I thought it was okay because I could still move it and I iced it, but maybe in hindsight I should have gotten an x-ray.  I asked him, why my wrist still hurt, why won’t it heal and some days it feels ok and others awful; it’s been three (THREE!) years.

I thought I was doing ok but the truth is I was just avoiding things:  I couldn’t do most yoga classes, so I stopped going, I couldn’t chop many vegetables like butternut squash, etc.-it hurt my wrist, I didn’t play basketball or tennis with my family.  I looked on the bright side what can I do:  walk , so I walked.  He said something about how the muscles probably just need to be worked out.  He said that a lot of people have surgery, for instance, for carpal tunnel syndrome, when they should have all those muscles worked out.  He was more elegant and technical about it; that is just what I remember him basically saying.  (Of course, everyone’s body is different and has different issues, so check with your doctor, osteopath, physical therapist, massage therapist, etc. and always check in with yourself.)

So, first listen to yourself, but after talking to him, I would say if you have carpal tunnel syndrome (or back pain, etc.), first try an orthopedic massage if that feels right to you to see if it can help ease your discomfort and give you some relief.  Make sure it is someone that you trust and have heard positive things about.  I was able to trust and know for myself that the pain in my neck and shoulder that he was working on (that brought tears to my eyes) was ok and helping me, not hurting me more because I knew this therapist had solid training, had heard that he was very good, knew his basic philosophy of life, knew that he came from a place of gentleness and asked me if I need him to stop applying so much pressure.

Who knows.  I took my injuries partly spiritually/energetically to ask for a little more help and as a way to delegate more to my kids, more chopping, more jar opening, more yard work.  Might as well make the most of it, right?!

knitting projects

I have too many projects I want to do!  Can you have too many knitting projects, patterns, yarn?  I think I’ll just have to add and delete things on this page as I go.  I’d like to use up all my stash before I get too tired of it, I already sort of am tired of what I have, and with new yarn always coming out I’ll have to follow organizer Peter Walsh’s method of limits–if my limit is 3 bins, some yarn will have to go–nooooooooo!

So, in no particular order here are the pattern  I can remember and find lol:)   I like many but am going to pick out the patterns that are jumping out at me the most to knit (and I have more in my queue in Ravelry! but those are more like, hmm…that’s interesting maybe I should put it in my queue in case I can’t find it again)  I think it’s time to follow my advice I give my mom, stop looking and perusing and start knitting more.  You can find me on Ravelry as 333dragonfly.  Happy knitting!  🙂

Right now I am knitting Ninebark Cowl from Knitscene Winter/Spring 2010.  I also like the Paradise Beach Cover Up.

From Knitscene Spring 2012

Roxborough Dolman

Seberg Sweater (but definitely in a different color)

Diamond Tee

Brindle Pullover

Hester Pullover (not on Ravelry yet but it’s the one on the cover of Knitscene Spring 2012)

From Custom Knits 2 by Wendy Bernard (there are more I like but will probably not knit first, but I never know what I’m going to be inspired to do or what yarn I’ll find so I’ll just put these first)


Bijou with slim pants and boots and maybe a belt

Pebbles for my son and husband

Eyelet Cardigan

Satsuma Bolero


Lemon Drop Hat

And from the first Custom Knits by Wendy Bernard

Karma Tank



Skinny Empire

I also have some Louisa Harding (Happiness, Distraction, Float, Whimsy, and Thoughtful)  books, other magazines, other books, and a three-ring binder full of patterns.  I’m beginning to think I have a problem lol:), it could be worse, it’s clean, fairly organized, doesn’t take toooo much time away from my family and quite frankly there are worse things.

I made Nette from Coco Knits for my mom for Christmas and after I got used to the think thick yarn I really liked it and it came out well.   I shortened the sleeves a little.   I think it’s a pretty flattering pattern for most people and it was easy to follow and I would knit it again.  I also like Cortland, Sofia, Everyday Wrap, Fleeced Boots, Liesl, and Gretel (love the Sound Of Music).

Berkshire Dolman Sweater

Rope Cowl

Cupcakes–soo cute!

products I like

I think I’ll have to keep updating this:

I have been meditating using Holosync meditation cds from Centerpointe for a little over two years now.  I love them.  Their website can explain more than I can and you can get a free demo that is just a few minutes long; a basic description is that the sounds are like rain and singing bowls and are relaxing.  I think you’ll get something out of it even if you just do the first Cd.  I have had a couple mystical moments that I can’t quite describe, like I fell into the sounds or something like that but mostly I just meditate and become very relaxed.

I have just tried Wen by Chaz Dean.  I bought them off of QVC.  I had been wanting to try his products for about a year or so.  I saw him on the tv show Flipping Out, where Jeff is funny and crazy and creates beautiful houses and Chaz Dean was one of his clients.  I had never shopped or watched QVC (but my mother-in-law has) and I happened to see on the guide that Chaz was going to be on.  He just comes across as sincere, knowledgeable, and passionate about hair and his products.  I ordered the Pomegranate and Sweet Almond Mint Cleansing Conditioner and Pomegranate Finishing Treatment Creme.  (The Pomegranate is wheat-free.)  I have coarse wavy dry damaged (yes I had my hair dyed at a place I’d never been before and didn’t think to as if the dye was semi-permanent and trusted the professional standing there too much, so I went in looking for red/auburn hair like I had growing up and had had my hair dyed a few times in the past few years and I left the salon looking like Halloween walking (black?!?), unfortunately I had missed Halloween by a week.  So then I had it bleached, and resulting in umm, unhealthy hair.  My daughter had used it 2 or 3 times and her mom’s friend who hadn’t seen her for a few weeks told her her hair looked so pretty and asked if she had done anything different to it. My daughter and I joked that she had brushed it and her friend’s mom made another nice comment and I told her we had changed shampoo, but I don’t think she believed me.

I noticed the day I used Wen my hair was a little tamer and when I curled it, it held it’s curl better and didn’t look so frizzy.  The next morning, I was sitting in my bathrobe and my daughter (who I had not told I switched shampoos) commented on how my hair looked nice and soft.  It is still damaged but my hair is softer and I really like it so far.  I do feel like I have to wash my hair every day because it seems like it gets a little greasy at the scalp, but I usually wash it every other day and just wash the front sides the other days.  It is a lot softer actually.  I just ordered the Six Thirteen Cleansing Treatment by Chaz, so I’ll see how that goes.  It is expensive, but I think he uses real ingredients (but I don’t believe they are organic) and his shampoos don’t contain sulfates which make the shampoo lather up and are the things that strip your hair of its luster.  I warned my kids it was like washing your hair with conditioner.  I also was tired of trying all these shampoos and products I didn’t like, didn’t work, what a waste of money. So I was desperate.

I also like Blinc mascara.  I’ve only tried the trial size but I really liked it.

websites I like


Frank Don  astrologer

Isha Lerner tarot card reader, you can pull a card online for free and both the pictures on the cards and the words are very beautiful and accurate

Ravelry knitting and crocheting website full of patterns and people and help and inspiration! It’s free and easy to sign up.

Denise Linn feng shui goddess among other things and she has a new blog with her daughter, Meadow, for their new book Mystic Chef (I can’t get it to link but if you google “mystic chef linn” the link comes up

oh, excuse me please

This poem I believe I found on a website called “Parent Soup Toddler” back around 2001.

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

“Oh, excuse me, please”  was my reply.

He said, “Please excuse me, too;

I wasn’t watching for you.”

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said good-bye.

But at home a different story is told.

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal.

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.

While I lay awake that night in my bed,

God’s still, small voice came to me and said,

“While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

But the children you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You’ll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself:  pink, yellow, and blue.

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.”

By this time I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

“Please wake up, little one,” I said.

“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”

He smiled, “I found ’em out by the tree.

I picked ’em because they’re pretty like you.

I knew you’d like ’em , especially the blue.”

I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”

He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay.

I love you anyway.”

I said, “Son, I love you too, and

I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”

I don’t think I need to say anything.  I do know that I have been both that child and that mother.  I have been that mommy even while knowing this and trying to be very aware and conscious and mindful of everything (my thoughts, my actions, who’s around me, etc.), I still would get caught up in a rush to get dinner on the table or to get out the door.  I think I practically stopped breathing.  I was stressed and not getting my required oxygen to my brain which resulted in the fight or flight primitive mechanism kicking in and resulted in me talking somewhat like a cavewoman, “You.  Sit.  No.  You.  Here.  Eat.  Sit.  Now.” at mealtime and out the door was more like, “You.  Jacket.  Here.  Shoes.  No.  Sit.  You.  Put on.  Now.  Good.  Car.”  Maybe it wasn’t quite that bad and thankfully not that often but just one of those negative moments that seems to erase 1,000 positive patient moments.  I never thought that was fair.  That the positive moments were just so gentle and soft and sweet and often filled days with their kindness and then one negative moment felt like a tidal wave wiping away all of that sweetness.   Even then I tried to live Louise Hay’s affirmation that “I am exactly where I need to be.  Everything is in perfect order.”  Because of this, I noticed starting noticing sooner and sooner different aspects as I tuned into my life, my body, my mind, “Oh, I have not eaten anything.”  “Oh, I really don’t feel well.”  No wonder I was getting cranky, I was trying to shove through my day and I wasn’t recognizing that I was not eating or feeling well or that maybe my kids were not feeling well.

I also noticed that there is a sort of magical serendipity when I let go of where I thought I should be and where I actually was.  Because if I was supposed to be there, I would be, but I was not.  I was where I was supposed to be.  When I accepted that I wasn’t supposed to have made that green light, be eight minutes earlier, or been in front of that person who just got in front of me in line and I looked at it constantly from a spiritual, mystical perspective, there was a shift in my patience level for all of the mundane things in life and especially in those moments with my kids where something that should take five minutes would inevitably take eighteen which resulted in now being “late.”  But when I would take a breath (more oxygen!), leave for a moment, and know that we were exactly where we were supposed to be, the stress and tension would lift and patience, calm voices, and gentleness would take their place.

And then I would notice (not every time mind you), who and what we saw being exactly where we were, that we wouldn’t have seen if were the eight minutes earlier I thought we should be.  Sometimes it was a friend that if we were five seconds earlier or later we would have completely missed and it ends up being a fun play date for my kids.  Sometimes, it’s holding the door open for someone or having someone open the door for us.  Sometimes it’s seeing a cute dog or a funny looking car.  And even if it’s not true, I am happier and more patient living exactly where I am supposed to be and I get flowers in the vase faster with less sadness and tears and capture that special child generosity energy into my heart at the first fresh moment when they have a flower or a rock or a drawing or other interesting thing to show or tell me that I cannot get back with a “just a minute, tell me in a moment” moment because that energy diffuses along with that first burst of enthusiasm.  I also give more hugs of appreciation than  “I’m sorry hugs.”  And that has made all the difference.